It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
