How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just googled if crying burns calories
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
