I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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