Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize