I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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