Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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