Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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