I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
