Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
