i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
