Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
