woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
