it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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