It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Dicks are not precious.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
