Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
