So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize