Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
