Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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