I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
