i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
