I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
its not stalking. its research.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
