Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize