I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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