I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
