12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
