are you still at the devil's house?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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