Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
