And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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