Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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