woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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