you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
