Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
