It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
