he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
