Your mouth is God's brothel.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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