Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
