Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize