After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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