true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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