What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
