are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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