Nicole vs. Life
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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