wrigley field is MILF paradise
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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