Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
