But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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