4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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