im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
