i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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