He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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