that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
