Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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