I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize