I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
