Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
