It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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