just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
