I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Dear god my vagina.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
