You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Do you still have your period?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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