Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
