i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You made out with two different species that night
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
