i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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