I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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