Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
