I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
