This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize