Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
