Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
