You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Welp...herpes.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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