This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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