Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
