I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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