we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
