i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
