Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize