I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
