So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The Olympian is in my bed
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