Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
