I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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